You get three guesses to tell where this story’s going to go, and the first two don’t count.
It all started with a shower of confetti.
Stevens had brought a piñata to the office for my birthday party. It was enormous, almost as big as he was, and a lion, just like me.
“Saw this in a window of that party place on the corner and thought of you,†he said. “He looks just like you, don’t he? Happy birthday, lion.â€
I looked it over, and it kinda did, in an exaggerated way: it didn’t look like me so much as it looked like a piñata modelled after me would look like. It was firm papier-mâché—or whatever it is they make piñatas out of these days—with ruffled paper in tawny gold all over its body in place of fur, and long orange paper streamers for its mane. “Thanks, wuff,†I said. “It’s great. Let’s hang ’im up and have a couple swings at him, eh?â€



No hand yet, I know. Â It’s not a very good arm, either; it definitely could do with some form (and action! it should be doing something!). Â But I’m taking pics anyway since most of you haven’t seen anything on this guy yet.
In that light he looks a little too mooby. Â I’m going to have to do something about that too.
Well, I say teeny-tiny little ankle band spikes.  This fellah is eight inches tall and 1:12 scale, so we’re looking at what ought to be three-inch spikes.  But in actuality: teeny-tiny little ankle band spikes.