This was something I sort of started throwing together during Sketch Night week before last.  So far it’s more of an exploration than a narrative.  Will have to see how it goes.

Woke up late on a Saturday morning and just enjoyed the sunshine, rolling over to feel the weight of my torsos on each other. I was still really half asleep, but it wasn’t long before my other head opened its eyes.

“Lovely morning,” I said to myself.

Rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I still hadn’t been able to afford a toilet that would accommodate my anatomy, so usually I’d let it go in the shower when I felt the need. As I started the water and tried to get the water at a decent temperature with one set of hands, I reached for the soap with the other. I tended to get distracted in the shower—some changes you never really do quite get used to—so I kept a sort of checklist on a whiteboard to make sure all bases were covered. Two faces, check. I was growing a beard on one, which I thought was coming in pretty handsomely, even if it was a bit scratchy when it brushed against my smooth one. Two pairs of shoulders, two chests—one hairy, one smooth. I slid my hands between them as I worked the soapy washcloth over my skin. Two bellies, one a little rounder than the other, both always pressed together—probably the closest point of contact between my two bodies, aside from the elbow and knee bands that held them together.

Two backs. I wasn’t really a beast, though I played one on the Internet. Kind of a silly fantasy, pretending to be a two-bodied wolf, but we’ve all got to pass the time somehow.

Two crotches—this was about the point where I ended up getting distracted. It’s supposed to be “four arms” next, isn’t it? My other head shook itself. It tends to have a mind of its own sometimes, and I found myself guiding four eager hands to two needy shafts. I ground them together as usual, gripping the bases with one hand and stroking the heads with another, while the other two reached down a bit further and started pulling my balls—I love doing that when I’m getting myself off.

I found myself so caught up in the moment that I almost didn’t realize I was kissing myself hard till I shot my load along the underside of my bellies.

I brought my cummy hand to one of my mouths and licked it off, just breathing—well, catching my breath—under the running water.

“Right,” I said to myself. “Four arms, wasn’t it?”

I cleaned myself the rest of the way up—four arms, two butts, four legs, washed two heads of hair then shut off the water.

I got out of the shower and started drying myself off with one pair of hands, while I started brushing my teeth with another. When all was dry I started brushing the teeth in my bearded face while shaving my other.

When I was all ready I took a full turn in front of the mirror, admiring myself.

I love myself, I really do.

I went into my closet, pulled out one of my big shirts, and struggled into it. Getting dressed was still one of the things I had trouble getting used to, but I managed. Shirts were easy compared to pants, though—I actually had shirts that fit all right, while I was still trying to find a comfortable way to manage pants—I couldn’t really wear full-length pants, whether with two legs or four, without hampering my mobility… I put on a pair of khaki shorts lately, but even this was having drawbacks—I was thinking of trying a kilt next. Even though I never really went out while I was two-bodied, it just didn’t really feel right going without, so that wasn’t an option.

I toddled down to the kitchen, carefully traversing the stairs, and made myself a breakfast sandwich, some eggs, and potatoes. It was a bit of a chore, cooking “for two,” so I was almost a little glad I only had two bodies once a week.

I ate slowly, one face on the TV, the other catching up on email on my phone.